This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
