haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
