I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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