Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
