So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
