Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
