i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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