my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
