dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
