Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
