He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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