I murdered the dance floor call the cops
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
