HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
