If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
