Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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