garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
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