Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
