I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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