so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
