Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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