Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
