and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
