Already got asked if we're dating
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
