He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
