My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
the raccoons are back...
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