On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
