Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
