You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
