No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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