I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
