I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
