Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
