Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
