is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
There r osticjed everywhere
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
