At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
