Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize