I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
