fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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