In the future we'll all be gay
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
