so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
