im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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