I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
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