Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
