the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
