I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
