I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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