: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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