I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
