my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
