Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dear god my vagina.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
