Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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