he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
