Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize