dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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