We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize
