How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
