The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize